I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
