it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
