i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
