There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize