my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm passing your future prison.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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