Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
