Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
