I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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