You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
