I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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