You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
