Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
