Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
