If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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