i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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