Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
