Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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