are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
