the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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