I want to make a zoo with you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
