Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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