you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
