If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
