I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
