the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
