You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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