his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
