No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
