You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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