hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
