I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
