Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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