My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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