Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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