she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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