a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
