yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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