Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
