Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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