D3 body, D1 cock
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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