Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
