i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
