i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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