thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
