And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
