So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
