If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
