So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
honey bunches of taint.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
