either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize