literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
