I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize