awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
