Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
