I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
