I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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