he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
