windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
