Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
