remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
