Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
